Working in the affiliate marketing space often means interacting with a diverse group of people. That’s the good news and the bad news. Not everyone has the same ethical boundaries and sometimes the few rogue marketers can be real douche bags. Find out if you’re one of them. Answer our quiz…
Quiz: What’s Your Internet Marketing Douche Bag Quotient?
When presented with a new online opportunity to make some big bucks very quickly, you:
- Think about the old adage, “If it sounds too good to be true; it probably is.”
- Do some research and due diligence before deciding.
- Hesitantly participate, but only because your kid really, really needs that new liver.
- Ask, “When can I start?” And provide an off-shore bank routing number.
When dealing with a new merchant, you:
- Read over the Terms and Conditions thoroughly and follow the letter and the intent of contract.
- Don’t bother to read that legal mumbo jumbo; it’s all the same boilerplate text.
- Send the contract to your lawyer and question him on loopholes and the likelihood of it standing up in court.
- What terms?
Book that is mostly likely on your desk is:
- The New Rules of Marketing and PR: How to Use Social Media, Blogs, News Releases, Online Video, and Viral Marketing to Reach Buyers Directly by David Meerman Scott
- The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (Expanded and Updated) by Timothy Ferriss
- Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks and Live a First Class Life by Denise Duffield-Thomas
- Make A Killing Online (without social media) Guru Secrets Revealed by Justin Kofoid
Your significant other is appalled by several online dating sites that promote cheating and affairs, but you can make a lot of money promoting those services:
- Pass. The mission of those sites is not in line with your moral and ethical views.
- What’s the big deal? You’re promoting the site. You’re not using it and you’re not the one cheating.
- Hell’s yeah. Everyone cheats. These folks were just smart enough to monetize it.
- Have you been to the Las Vegas parties thrown by these guys? They are off the chain, bro. I’m in.
Lately, you have spotted a few affiliates that seem to be using similar tactics to override other affiliates ‘commissions- including some of yours, you:
- Report the incidents to the network and ask them to take action immediately.
- Do nothing and figure some of these losses are just part of the cost doing business.
- Figure out how they are accomplishing this cool move and try it yourself.
- Are pissed off that you didn’t think of it first; then try to one-up these scammers.
Toolbars make you think about?
- Pesky annoying apps that provide the weather, time, etc. to vulnerable, unsuspecting users that could be scammed.
- Things that will never, ever, ever go away no matter how hard you try to uninstall.
- An easy way to override cookies from other affiliates.
- Piles and piles of money and valuable private information on the installers.
Which most closely resembles one of your recent Facebook status updates?
- Crowded but totally fun day at Disney with family.
- Sharing some helpful research on reaching mobile users with SMS ads.
- Hit me up for red hot leads.
- Rollin’ in my Lamborghini, biotches.
In general, when it comes to breaking rules or breaking trust you:
- Have a Zero Tolerance policy.
- Love baseball, so it’s three strikes and you’re out!
- Forgive, forget and move on is your mantra.
- Ignorance is bliss. Just turn a blind eye. Besides, rules are for suckas!
Which T-Shirt would you be most likely to wear to a family reunion?
- Affiliate Marketing Geek
- I’m Blogging This
- I’m John Chow, Bitch!
- My Commission Check is HUGE!!!
Your business dream is:
- To provide a comfortable living for my family.
- To make a little money on the side with affiliate marketing.
- To hold up a giant-ass check from the dope CPA network du jour.
- To make a shit load of money and retire at 27 or start my own CPA network and let the dough roll in.
When it comes to domains?
- You do a lot of research before registering or buying a URL.
- Own so many domains that sometimes you forget which ones are yours until it’s time to renew.
- Buy em. Flip em. Then head to the bank to deposit your dough.
- You are infamous for your domain speculation skills known as “The Domain Whisperer.”
Your Marketing DB Quotient
If you picked…
Mostly A’s – Straight Arrow
Your spiritual leader, your beloved Nana and Honest Abe are proud to be in your company. You pride yourself on doing things strictly by the book.
Mostly B’s – Envelope Pusher
You are extra creative and always looking for new ways to get things done – even if a little dancing around the rules is required. All in all, you’re a good person but you love to see what you can get away with. You love the movie Ferris Bueller.
Mostly C’s – Gray Wolf
You can’t be defined or hemmed in by all these rules. Nothing is black and white. You live in the gray area. You’re open-minded and think that all business moves are subject to context and interpretation. Rationalization is your best friend.
Mostly D’s – Slick, Smart and Slippery
You are a solver of complex puzzles; a lover of loopholes; and are quick to figure out ways to make lots of dough before you get caught. You move like lightening and always strike just until the iron is too hot. The thrill of beating the system is your drug of choice. You proudly wear a “Baller” t-shirt and are often called a douche bag.
*DB = Douche bag (We used “*DB” in the title of this blog post, as we didn’t want to offend. Well, at least not until you started reading!)
Join AffPlan now and access valuable information and strategies for getting the most long-term success from your ethical affiliate marketing efforts.
Lisa Picarille wrote this kick-ass Douchebag Quiz and she is NOT an Affiliate Douchebag. She is, however, an Online Content Strategist and Consultant based in San Francisco. http://www.lisapicarille.com/
I love this test even though it was a little too simple. I got mostly all B’s… and yeah I do love Ferris Bueller and also love Tim Ferriss. Great post and also a fun one.
Hey Keith, It was intended to be be simple. Glad you enjoyed it. I have some other fun things in mind so stay tuned. I’ll work on making them more complex. I can see that you like to be challenged ;-). lisap